J'ai Faim: Dieting to Win Him Back

Summertime is here.

Looks get rejuvenated. Abs sculpted. To slide into hot swimsuits. And cause tsunamis on the beach.

Not this body!

I've been on a muffins, donuts and anything dessert diet.

But I'm flirting with the idea of losing weight.

I blame French comedy!

J'ai Faim (I'm Hungry) sees Lily, a florist unafraid to take a bite out of life, go through a draconian diet to win her man back.

Aided by diet-obsessed best pal, Lily vows to change for Barnabe!

The lengths vengeful Lily goes to, portrayed by Catherine Jacob, are as extreme as the makeover she undergoes. With friends in tow, she ruins the life of Anais, the girl she suspects of stealing her man.

It took Lily and Co. midnight prank calls, vandalizing the poor gal's house, and dragging her down the stairs to realize her innocence.

The movie shows friends' influence, positive or negative, on our choices.

If Arlette, Lily's best friend (by the exquisite Michelle Laroque) didn't voice her suspicion that Lily's guy dumped her for his skinny coworker, lots of damage could have been avoided.

Arlette, eventually, discovers it's her man who wants Anais.

I, for one, have been contemplating avoiding rubbing off on my friends either my jadedness or giddiness; I wouldn't want to risk changing their outlook on or influencing their choices in matters of the heart.

Like Lily, I had considered winning back the last guy I loved, mainly by getting back in touch and shape. But then, I like to indulge my palate.

Must we morph into someone else for "lost love" to come back?

No!

So, I decided to cross out the guy from my head and heart.

After 10 months of waiting.

Tuesday was his birthday. I lost him in July. He lost me on Tuesday.

86 comments:

  1. Getting back in the shape and wooing is possibly the oldest trick in the book of 'Getbacks'...and frankly it rarely works!! N if someone wants to loose weight...loose to make himself feel better and not for someone who didn't like the way u looked!! Not really worth it!!

    Glad to c u back to ur senses....even if that means loving food in a somewhat excessive way!

    Take care!

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  2. @ Phunk Factor: You're right. Looking and feeling better should be for oneself alone! Mind you, the guy did like me for the way I look, only. That's what I deduced.

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  3. i would say "F-I-N-A-L-LY" but i still have some doubts, as i suspect your mind telling lies your heart knows better than that... you're a romantic and feed on pain as well as on love.
    if you're going to re-invent yourself, do it for yourself, never for a guy!! what happens if it doesn't work out? you let yourself go again, after all of this hard work??? not worth it!! never mind what he thought of you. it's hightime you find out what YOU think of yourself and what you want to do about it, what's to keep, what's to go...
    but whatever you do, keep it selfish!! do what's right for YOU!! selfishness has such a bad rap, but i totally endorse it. if you don't do things for yourself, WHO WILL???????????
    :)~
    now, take that baqlawa out of your mouth and go for a walk!!
    (mine are better anyways!!)
    HUGZ

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  4. @ Ticklebear: I waited 8 years for my first love to manifest himself. So, 10 months proves I'm getting better with age, right? I loved and hated the guy, then loved him again, during all this time. His Birthday ignited a sudden, yet studied, detachment, though. He flaked out, stormed off and gave me a couple of stretch marks over a petty sarcastic joke. I, now, wouldn't get back to him. Time for me to do like he always did and wish him all the best.

    As for reinvention (What, I'm Madonna now?), my problem is that I am back to my crazy sleeping habits, which directly impact, negatively, my eating habits. I am down to only one meal a day, very late at night. To be in top shape, my body needs breakfast and motivation to work out. But I, Wil, will try. ;)

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  5. muslims need a "madonna" to shake things up in a positive way, so, why not you???
    :D~
    HUGZ

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  6. @ Ticklebear:

    You want me to pull off a Madonna to 1 billion Muslims? Alright.

    So, I guess I wouldn't need clothes, a good signing voice, any sense of shame or friendly rapport with religious leaders? Fine.

    This humble head of mine is too small to put a Fatwa on it, though. :D

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  7. god forbid that should ever happen...

    HUGZ

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  8. @ Ticklebear: If I am to become a Madonno, I seriously need to work on my fitness! Madge has set the bar way too high.

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  9. Love food.... it always loves you back!!!!!

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  10. @ Ticklebear: I can say it to you, now.

    Remember this blog's previous life, when I used to talk about Sex and the City as well as other intellectual stuff? And that a certain guy was a deadly-committed commentator? And that he and I had been getting to know each other? And that I didn't tell anybody about it until I became sure what we had was real?

    Well, after you had commented on one post, I remember the guy telling me later on Skype "I'm sure Ticklebear hates me." To which I replied "But Ticklebear doesn't even know you exist. How could and why would he hate you?" The guy sighed "I don't know. Just a feeling I'm getting."

    One more reason I am serious about moving on. Le gars était trop susceptible mais j'avais fermé l'oeil. Grosse erreur.

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  11. @ Kyivite: You mean I am not the only one here with a twinkie problem? :p

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  12. the sad thing is,
    he might have been right...
    HATE HIM, HATE HIM, HATE HIM!!!
    :D~

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  13. @ Ticklebear: I knew he could microchip the heck out of the world, but not that he had prophetic abilities. LOL

    I mean, I don't hate him at all. If I were to meet him, I'd give him a big genuine hug and move on. I may welcome him back into my life sometime, but never as a boyfriend.

    Funny how he, himself, used to be quite hefty but remarkably got himself an athletic body. One word of advice: follow into the footsteps of your exes! :D

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  14. Haha crazy show!

    Moving on is hard though. I just got out of a long relationship 10 months ago as well, and it's still difficult to talk about sometimes. I went through the whole 'getting back' thing for a while too. Congrats on your decision!

    -Delilah

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  15. Hahaha...reminded me of the fool I was back in the days of love when I used to run and run to get rid of that tummy and those swollen legs I had! I didn't want to keep him an unpleasant surprize...while Mr.Adored was living his life and god knows he was anything but sexy....Having a good body should be for oneself,to feel better,to be healthier,to have more faith on oneself,you owe this to urself. I'm a "Food-enthusiast" and I weigh ore than 100 kg!But I believe more than ever that it's not the shape that brings love to u.I had these guys who were crazy about me and all were sexier but I cared less about them. I urge u to practise sport ,eat less saturated fat and sugar for the good reason that this is a healthy diet....Hey papi,do u believe in cyber love? Where is chemistry and aura?!

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  16. @ Ticklebear: Guess who was awakened by the sudden lack of oxygen? I went to bed lulled by the rain and patted by the cold and, 3 hours later, it's hotter than hell. Whew!

    I am not going to just make my own path; I'll even get my own lane, too. And at the inauguration party, I'll blame it all on you.

    Got any advice for me, Ticklebear? ;-)

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  17. @ Dating Diva:

    I am sorry things didn't work out, Delilah! But they would have if it was meant to be, right? Moving on is hard if the person meant something to you, and this guy truly did. He was different: a humble genius who had NO idea he's HOT-looking. Sadly, he falls in love as quickly as he falls out of it.

    Oh well, we can but wish them all the best for what's come, right? :) I, for one, waited for 10 months and am done waiting.

    Thank you for stopping by!

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  18. @ Chagrin D'amour: You and I seem to have virtually the same weight. However, I never tried to look different for a guy - the guy I mention here liked me for my looks, oddly (Some people have poor taste, I tell ya! lol) I am like Tyra Banks' modeling career; I adapt to markets. I've had my heyday as a slender teen and am adapting to the stocky scene. The latter proved to be more obsessive than the former, much to my surprise.

    Bref! I used to believe in cyber love. I, now, only believe in cyber attraction, which does transcend computer screens. But it, eventually, withers as personality reveals itself and it's not always what we were expecting. Luckily, we disappoint as much as we get disappointed, so it makes the whole thing fair. :-)

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  19. gonna try to see that movie soon,and yeah i tried losing weight too,to hit the beach if i get that vacation hahaha

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  20. could you be a little clearer??
    i'm not a docotor and you're pretty vague. lack of oxygen and feeling too hot. sleep apnea? or anxiety?

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  21. @ Mac Callister: Do you really need to lose weight? I know I do.

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  22. @ Ticklebear: I was referring to "find your own path, boy!"

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  23. the lane, i got...
    no advice.
    that's the point.
    you find it by yourself!!
    :)~

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  24. Twinkie problem..... hmmm i'm sure that's another story for later..... :)

    But as i don't see food a merely a vehicle for providing my body with energy, you could say i do have problem. I prefer to classify it as a preference for enjoying what I put in my mouth! ;)

    And yes, I could do with shedding a few kilos.... but hey if it happens it happens!

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  25. @ Ticklebear: Very helpful, indeed. Now, are you dieting? :)

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  26. @ Kyivite: Having a twinkie problem is nothing to be ashamed of, even if Oprah denies it's the reason behind her too-frequent weight gain and loss. ;) Now, for the other connotation of twinkie, I'll let you elaborate. ;-)

    I think eating, especially with friends, is such a delight! It's like an orgy of the senses; you have people you like talking and laughing and sharing yummy food. I have such a romantic view on eating that Jane Austen should resurrect and write a novel about it. :D

    Do you ever diet?

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  27. Well, what a surprise (though, if you see Dieter's comment re connection on my last post, it might be explained)! What am I talking about?

    Well, that we've both posted about movies though I don't think either of us had been aware of what the other had posted. And we've both explored 'love' in our posts, well, in a manner of speaking.

    So, we choose our poison and we choose our prison. I certainly won't be choosing the weight loss prison nor any other for that matter! Not if I can help it. (Wait, is that a contradiction in terms?)

    And here's another bit of 'coincidence' - the radio's playing a french song as I type this! Makes me want to listen to French songs. It's like being in another universe and a very nice one at that :)

    PS Also happened to see an interview of Christina Aguilera where she talks about the 'anthem', I am Beautiful, and what prompted it and why it has become an anthem. Just thought you might appreciate the timeliness of my seeing it and mentioning it here:)

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  28. dieting? me???
    are you nuts???
    not on your life!!
    my beauty evolves with me...
    ;)~
    HUGZ

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  29. Me... diet... no..... if by diet you mean cut out food. Because the moment I purposely deny myself food on the basis that it is not good for me blah blah blah, I crave it as if I were pregnant... (empathy people, I haven't managed that feat of science for real just yet).

    However, what I do sometimes is change my diet... I add in more healthy food and try to graze... i.e. 4-6 meals instead of 2/3... it does require me to break old habits and the success rate is variable, but as I'm planning to hit the gym to assist with the weight loss, the diet will change in line with that.... i get even hungrier when I train :)))))))

    Eating with good food with friends..... the best thing ever (next to sliced bread and sex;)))))

    Being a Brit we don't have Twinkies the foodstuff over here and I'm at a loss as to any other connotation that could be applied to the word (blush) hahahhaahah. Far be it for me to elaborate on Twinkies of any other type.... we could be here for days ..........

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  30. Hi Wilmaryard,

    I never cut down my food intake. No matter what. A principle that I was forced to learn by my parents. They're a food addict too. In my teen years, I have been trying to diet myself. Unsuccessfully, if I may add.

    I agreed with Ticklebear, be a little selfish! Never change who you are because of other people. Change because you want to change yourself instead. Try all your best to forget that guy too :)

    Hopefully your diet treats you well..

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  31. If you want to become fit for yourself, great, but don't do it for someone else (especially an ex). The problems that caused the break up in the first place are sure to arise again.

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  32. The best way to get over someone is to get into someone else. Or get into yourself...get fit and have a fantastic new romance with some one else.

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  33. @ Thought Bubble Ten:

    Three coincidences prove that souls connect from a million miles away and that genuine human emotion transcends computer screens. Such a great feeling with which to start the day!

    Hard to lose weight with French pastry. But then, when one eats and loves wholeheartedly, passion burns all flab. I, for one, naturally shrink down when blissfully in love. :-)

    The words you chose to describe how "The Notebook" made you feel penetrate the heart like a yearning bullet. I am touched by your wisdom and palpable kindness, and am thankful we blog-met through Dieter. You two are amazing awesomeness!

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  34. @ Ticklebear:

    Who needs to diet when cigarettes help keep one's figure, indeed?

    I used to be a smoker, too. When I quit overnight without resorting to exercise, my body grew too big for my naturally-slender frame. If only I could tolerate smoking again; I'd go on a month-long smoking spree to shrink down a little. ;-)

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  35. @ Kyivite:

    Exercise does stimulate metabolism which, in turn, stimulates appetite. That's why we get hungrier after a workout. Light weight lifting burns fat for 48 hours post exercise. Try it!

    A cheat day truly works. When you eat all taboo food all day, for one day, chances are you won't crave them all week. Great, eh?

    I agree with you on how delightful sharing a meal with friends is. :-) As for twinkie, the Urban Dictionary defines it as "American Gay Term: Refers to a young pretty gay boy that is very fun to look at, play with, filled with white creme but has no nutritional (intellectual) value whatsoever."

    There! :D

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  36. @ bluecrystaldude: Hey you! Good to see you on here. :-)

    Food intake is virtually insignificant to staying in shape. At 16, I used to eat more than I eat now but was as thin as a stick, because I used to walk endlessly, everyday (Somebody had to patrol the city and subtly flirt with the hotties, right?)

    I understand this post gives the impression I am dieting for a guy. The thought did cross my mind but it never became a concrete plan. I have never tried to change, physically, for someone, so it ain't now that I'm gonna start. ;-)

    Give a big hug to your parents, from me, for enjoying food!

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  37. @ Anne: Those are words of wisdom, ma'am. :-) The guy liked me for my physique only, so there was no way I was gonna make him change his mind by changing my body. ;-)

    Somebody's dripping sarcasm today.

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  38. @ VetTech:

    Hah! I knew "The best way to get over a man is to get under another."

    But fall in love with another? Me thinks that's going to take a while. My guy needs to have an open mind and big arms to embrace the whole lot that I am. Hint: the gym won't help LOL!

    Thanks for the advice. :-)

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  39. I think you have spent too much energy on the case of this ex!

    I am sorry to be rude, but I find it hard to express nuances in english! Good excuse, you'll think, but it's true!

    So, as usual, I'll continue in french... à moins que je ne sois complètement à côté de la track concernant le sujet de ce billet, je crois que si nous avons à faire des efforts pour améliorer notre aspect physique, ils se doivent d'être faits pour nous seulement! Car tout part de nous. Si nous nous sentons bien dans notre peau, cela irradie et attire les autres. Alors que si les efforts sont déployés en vue d'attirer quelqu'un en particulier, cela peut peut-être fonctionner, mais pour les mauvaises raisons. Si cette personne ne nous voyais pas "avant", et qu'il ait fallut une métamorphose physique pour qu'elle nous voie "après", c'est un peu triste, non? C'est factice, comme relation, à mon humble avis.

    Alors l'important est d'être bien dans notre peau, peu importe la forme de celle-ci! Le reste s'en suivra...

    And it is already that time of the year that bodies get sculpted? Then I think Bottero sculpted mine! Oh boy! What happened!?!
    ;¬)

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  40. @ Lucrecia: L'ambiance du billet reste française, tout de même, Lulu. :-)

    Je suis de ton avis. Rien de meilleur que de se chouchouter soi-même ; j'entends sur le plan physique, vestimentaire, culinaire ou autre.

    J'avais, en effet, songé faire du régime et récupérer mon pseudo Jules, mais pas pour lui plaire (C'est uniquement certains aspects de mon physique qui lui plaisaient, de toute façon) Que je mentionne les deux projets dans le même billet vous a, probablement, tous pris à contre-pied, alors que mon intention initiale fut de critiquer les gens qui croient pouvoir récupérer leurs chéri(e)s en fondant et changeant de style.

    Du coup, je m'étais probablement mal exprimé et viens de mettre à jour le billet, avec pleines de photos en prime ! ;-)

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  41. Oh, tu sais, j'arrive à comprendre grosso-modo quand je lis en anglais. Mais bien des aspects du texte restent incompris du fait que mon vocabulaire anglais est très restreint. Alors je fais de la déduction, ce qui peut évidemment m'induire en erreur!

    Je ne crois pas que tu te sois mal exprimé. Ça m'étonnerait beaucoup de ta part! ;¬)

    Alors ne t'étonne pas si mes commentaires sont à côté de la plaque! C'est seulement la québécoise qui essaie de s'immiscer dans la conversation!
    ;¬D

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  42. GAG,

    Interesting posting... But I must say that It is good to see you open up more and share more about your life and how thing affect you. I am always here for you when ever you need it.

    You are my friend and care for you... take care my dear friend.

    Tony.

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  43. Hi Wilmaryard,

    "Somebody had to patrol the city and subtly flirt with the hotties, right?"

    LOL. Everybody need someone of that :D

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  44. *Wilmaryad

    I am so so sorry. I somehow misspelled your name there :)

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  45. @ Lucrecia: Ne t'inquiète pas, ma Lulu. Tu restes ma Québecoise préférée ;-) De toute façon, je comptais inclure des billets exclusivement en français, ou des billets bilingues (En anglais, puis la traduction française, ou vice versa).

    Qu'en penses-tu ?

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  46. @ Tony: Thank you! Spending most of the day with you today was super cool and spontaneous, just how I like 'em. :-) You will forever be my friend even if you don't wanna introduce me to your HAWT boss! ;-)

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  47. @ BlueCrystalDude: No wonder I was thin as a toothpick; skipping classes and walking around town, ALL DAY, in those unwearable heavy boots, laughing my behind off with friends as flamboyant as the sun. The world is completely different on the "skinny" end of the spectrum. ;-)

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  48. By the way, when you see a camera symbol before the text, just hover over it and a photo will pop up. Hover over film symbols and a trailer/video will pop up and auto-play. Do the same thing with book symbols to have an article pop up. This way, you don't have to visit other pages to see my content. :)

    Do you like the soulful ballad I added at the end of the post? It's super exclusive, as the album isn't out yet. Opine ;-)

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  49. LOL. BTW, love the new layout! And the song too. Amazing!

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  50. @ BlueCrystalDude: Thank you, sweetness! Kind of you to say :D

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  51. What an awesome new design.. its so kitsch!

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  52. @ VetTech: Aw, thank you! Did everything from scratch, as usual, on a whim. I am so flattered.

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  53. i came here to thank yu for leaving a comment on my post. but after reading your post, i feel like i have to say what's on my mind (don't worry, it's nothing negative, ok?). i will be back to leave a longer message. {{{hugssss}}} for you!

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  54. @ Bing: You are very welcome for the well-deserved comment; your post on marriage was hilarious! :D I look forward to reading your longer message; criticism or praise are welcome. Hugs :-)

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  55. your post reminded me of an episode (sad and funny at the same time) in my life after i lost my husband. simply put, that was my first attempt (take note: FIRST :D) at romance after being madly in love with one guy for 22 years. funny because of so many awkward situations i got myself into and feeling like a school girl again at 40. sad because i tried too hard even when i wasn't really ready yet.

    "do we really need to morph into someone else..." your question still haunts me. we always fall into that trap, don't we? it is only later when we realize how much of our identities we have lost just to please someone else. by the time we wake up, our own identities have already disintegrated into tiny pieces. good news is, we can still pick up those pieces and move on. just like you did...

    i believe that each person we meet in our lives have a lesson to teach us. so we should not waste the lesson by drowning ourselves in sorrow. it is ok to grieve for awhile but our lives should not be put on hold to wait for someone to decide whether or not he wants to keep us or to take us back.

    that episode in my life taught me what i really wanted. it helped me define what i was looking for in life. because of that, i became a better person... a more giving and loving person, that is. i am keeping the lesson but i am definitely not going back to him. :D

    if you have the time, listen to this song ("Someday")... believe me, the lyrics of this song are the exact words you want to throw at Mr. I Wish You All The Best :D

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLUofZr-8eg&feature=related

    {{{hugsss}}} and blessings to you!

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  56. @ BING (PINK LADY):
    what a lovely song you've suggested here. it could indeed be the anthem for all of the broken hearts of this world.

    as for losing your own identity, there are always people trying to make you into something you're not to fit their ideal person. it is one thing to make compromises, and it's another to lose yourself completely. i've been there a few times... but i've always refused to vanish. take me as i am or leave me alone, with the f-word thrown in somewhere in there!!
    :D~
    HUGZ

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  57. Heh Wilmy....better late than NEVER, right? :P

    Listen, about the actual post, one should NEVER do something for themselves as part of a scheme or to please someone else! THAT my friend comes from life experience, which in my case, am still battling but getting better at:) I do agree with Ticklebear that selfishness is underrated. We need a nice balance in our lives.

    I must go now but will be back :)

    P.S. You can't blame someone else for your creative outlet of a blog :P "You look MARVELOUS!"

    HH~
    ANGELO

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  58. @ Bing (PinkLady): The way you lost your husband is heartbreaking! I admire you for having carried on with life and for having even considered finding love again. This is a life lesson you taught me on here today - one that made me, actually, smile.

    It must have been difficult to step out into the world, let alone into the dating world, especially knowing how men are scared to commit, especially if the woman has more than a kid. I don't know how things in that regard are where you come from, but it'd be a delicate situation for a woman where I live.

    Men in my country tend to view widows as sex-starved women with standards so low, and a libido so high, that they easily put out. My own mom became a widow at 27 (my age) and the way those predators stared at her made me want to slay them!

    I don't know about you, but my own mother never found love (not that she had found it with my late dad or her first husband). Part of that is that she's too independent and smart for the macho men here, who want a pretty submissive blow-up doll.

    She did try to change for so or so, but she just scares men.

    Thanks for the video; Nina's voice is amazing! Thank you for your insightful contribution and welcome to our blog family. :-)

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  59. @ Angelo: Howdy Terminator, with your "I will be back" ;-)

    Please don't tell me you have considered losing weight, through diet and exercise, for a guy. That'd be atrocious!

    Should I hand over my neck so that you split it into 2?

    I just hope I won't lose you, like I lost Mr. I Wish You All the Best, over a kindly-sarcastic comment. :D

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  60. Your background is gorgeous! Your article...you sound resigned, sweet man. Hang in there and mourn before you move on. xoxoxox

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  61. wilmar, when i finally decided to move on, doors opened up. i looked at the world differently this time. i had to drag my feet out into the world, bearing in mind that this time i was walking alone. i took each step with an open mind and each experience made me stronger and perhaps a better person.

    going out again was like breaking free from a cocoon. i got to know myself better, became wiser... and realized that my happiness did not and should not depend on anyone... that i didn't need anyone to "complete" me.

    yes i had to deal with the image of widows being sex-starved. i was judged for moving on so soon. nasty rumors were spread about me. this was also the time i realized that no person should dictate on me how i live my life. life is short after all so why waste time wallowing in self pity and misery. i don't owe anyone any explanation. i made myself accountable only to GOd and to my children. if i wasn't hurting my kids, then i was on the right track.

    luckily, i was spared from predators. i got marriage proposals but believe me, after losing a husband you wouldn't even want to think of marriage again.

    i picked up the pieces then moved on. i'm glad i took my time to heal. when "SUNSHINE" came into my life (after several failed attempts at romance), i was no longer looking for someone to complete me or reassure me. i had everything i needed. that's why i see him as a gift from above... an unexpected second chance... the rest of the story is still unwritten...

    whew... that finally came out. i have so wanted to write about that but i couldn't. lol. so now, welcome to my page's extension. :)) thanks so much wilmar for this opportunity. you've seen our page (sunshine's and mine) and left a comment there. i really appreciated that.

    blessings to you!

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  62. Hi Wil, I read your post several times and even watched the film (which I really liked, btw, especially because I adore both Catherine Jacob and Michelle Laroque). Funny coincidence, my boyfriend is actually trying to loose some weight. But not for my sake. I warned him if he did it for me, I'd go and buy a couple of Chocolate Eclairs at once and force them down his throat. He loves Chocolate Eclairs (whereas I prefer the coffee flavour) and said no; that tells me he really wants to slim down for his own sake. Sorry that I talk about me but the best pieces of advice have already been given in the sixty-odd comments of your other friends. So I'll go on babbling about me. Could loose some weight, too, by the way. But that would include *sigh* doing some yucky sports. So it's not for me. Perhaps I should just wait and hope for a good old 'gastro'? Very unplesant, I know, but the aftereffects are unbeatable. ;-) lol As for your last Mr. Darcy, what can one say? The same thing that comes to mind where George W. Bush is concerned: Good riddance? Anyway, keep your eyes open, the Mr. Darcys are sometimes hidden where you wouldn't suspect. Hus 'n' kisses from sunny (at last) Paris.

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  63. @ vange: I have mourned for the past 10 months. If I were a jellyfish, I'd say that my exumbrella has moved on. What's left are the retractable tentacles. Thanks for the compliment! ;-)

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  64. @ Bing (PinkLady):

    What you mentioned here is crucial! Many, if not most, of us look for an other to complete, reassure and spoil us rotten. No wonder we end up heartbroken more often than not. It's better, I realize, to embark on a romantic journey as two complete entities, instead of diving in, head first, as one and a half.

    Eventually, the incompleteness of one will cause all the weight to burden the more-complete other. Unless the "wholesome" one displays ferocious patience and genuine willingness to help elevate his "not-there-yet" partner, relationship miscarriage is inevitable.

    Your decision to remain accountable only to God (and your children) struck a chord within me. I, too, try to go along those lines of reasoning. For the longest time, I thought I was a people pleaser, but I turned out to be more of a God pleaser, which doesn't always please people. ;-)

    Kudos to you, though! Your kids will grow up serene, knowing their mom planned her life around their emotional comfort.

    I am honored you chose to share your untold-so-far story with 'Sunshine' on here. Judging from the content of your blog(s), you two are quite the fun pair. ;-)

    It's a blast to blog-meet you!

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  65. @ Mr. Dieter Moitzi:

    Glad you liked the movie! Catherine and Michele are hilarious in it. I watched it for the first time 8 years ago; more than 30 times since early May. :-)

    *Zombie Walk & Talk* Mmmm, chocolate eclairs! But you consider torture shoving two down your boyfriend's throat? I call that "spoiling" him! Plus, you can't rape a willing throat, especially with yummy eclairs. I'm sure your boyfriend may not be dieting for your sake, but he'd appreciate a pleasantly-surprised reaction from you (Pick a mirror and practice NOW!) :D

    Food poisoning or colon attacks are radical weight-loss facilitators. Ask me; I have had both a couple of weeks ago, thanks to which my belly shrank down, highlighting my pale face. Up until that point, I had never suspected my insides to be this musical. The late-night Arias I delightedly attended, courtesy of my roaring orchestra of a belly, are indescribable. I even had the honor of being invited to several impromptu painting sessions in my gallery of a bathroom. Ah, intestinal art!

    It will be tough for me to keep my eyes open to spot a Mr. Darcy; something stung me in the left eyelid, during my sleep last night. I, now, am considering wearing a pirate eye patch. If that doesn't get me a Beau, I don't know what will.

    Good to see you around here! And this space is as yours as it is mine. Alors, ne prends pas de gants pour t'y raconter; ça m'interèsse. Hugs'n'Kisses back, sir. :-)

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  66. wilmar, just go out and enjoy life as it is. if you get hurt along the way, by all means CRY if you must. if you want, call a friend and drink with him, pour out your heart. but don't let it stop you from living your life. let the pain strengthen you. you have two options- to be happy or to be miserable. it's always our choice, isn't it?

    "It's my life
    It's now or never
    I ain't gonna live forever
    I just wanna live while I'm alive!" (It's My Life, Bon Jovi)

    the pleasure is mine in blog-meeting you :)

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  67. @ Bing (PinkLady):

    This blog has become the friend you kindly suggested I call and have a drink with. Never have I ever imagined writing, and getting supportive feedback, could be this therapeutic. My latest romantic disappointment allowed me to reconnect with this self of mine I was gradually losing. This blog and its family, literally, saved me.

    Thank you for the advice, survivor you! :-)

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  68. Mourning knows no calendar? I've got nothin'.

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  69. @ vange: Exactly! Even if mourning, in Arab tradition, shouldn't go beyond 3 days. I've been over-the-top traditional in that regard, it seems. ;-)

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  70. Update: The "You Lost Me" song is now posted in its goosebumps-provoking entirety. Give it a listen. And I, heh, just realized the guy did deceive me. When I think I've always thought the world of him ...

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  71. what a haunting song... goosebumps indeed.

    cheer up friend... s**t happens all the time. there is always someone out there who's "better" than us. but then in the end, they'll realize nobody can/will ever love them the way we did. that is our vindication.

    it's his loss, not yours!

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  72. @ Bing (PinkLady): This song made me realize things I had overlooked. All I feel like doing, now, is run away from it all. And you made a valid point; I wish him all the best.

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  73. Wow! The "I'll give ya 10 bucks." was an interesting experience. Thanks for sharing. I'm looking forward to hearing more stories from Maghreb-land.

    BTW, your blog is awesome too!

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  74. @ The Immigayrant: The 10 bucks thing could have come to a better end if money were not brought up, indeed. Oh well, fewer STD's. ;-)

    Thank you!

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  75. "only blame my flirting with the idea of losing weight on France"

    what does that mean?

    i tried making sense of it,but i couldn't....sorry :(

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  76. i'm late like the usual... but hey! i missed you! :)

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  77. I am not one to ever believe in trying to get an ex back. Take what you've learned from past relationships and use it in future relationships is my motto, because I think that trying to move backwards in life rather than forward is a bad move for anyone. As far as dieting for someone, I think that you need to be comfortable with yourself and the rest will fall into place. A happy person is more attractive than a person who is skinny and miserable because they are obsessing over every calorie instead of enjoying life.

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  78. @ Anonymous: By blaming France, I meant the French comedy. :)

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  79. @ i_wander: Howdy super mama. We miss you here, too. :)

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  80. @ Tina: Judicious advice as usual, Miss Tina. Now, I wish I could have started this blog at 14. I would have skipped making many mistakes. But then, without those mishaps, we wouldn't know better today. :)

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  81. I miss you. You really made a huge impact on me. We should talk.

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  82. They need shows like this in America. One can watch for so long shows the 'Hills' or the 'Housewives'. Always the same type of people on different channels for so long. I wonder if we can get this show here? Anyone know?

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  83. @ J421D: Pick a date and a time and we shall talk :-)

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  84. @ AIDY: It's, actually, a movie. My bad! I realize I forgot to mention that in the post. ;-) You could download it online.

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