5 Kissing Styles Philematologists Hate!
I'm a philematologist.
Philematology studies chemicals the brain releases during kissing. Mainly the cuddle hormone called: Oxytocin.
While your dance moves preview your lovemaking acumen, your kissing style hints at your romantic potential.
If you fail to impress on a first date, how well you kiss can save the night!
So, let's reverse-psychology it for aspiring Oxytocin swappers.
Let's describe what good kissing isn't!
5. Donald Trump
This kisser's lips are tighter than a chicken's rear. His lips just won't unzip!
The worst part? You launch a French attack and your tongue hits a wall.
Unless your mouth is a stinky dumpster, open sesame!
P.S. Pecks are for preschoolers, boo. Loosen up!
Ever seen a lizard's tongue whip an insect?
With this kisser, you shouldn't worry something's stuck between your teeth. His tongue offers free and thorough flossing and tartar removal.
Per-fe-ct after dinner.
3. Car Wash
Forget Neutrogena face wash products!
This kisser takes "sucking face" literally. His mouth opens so widely, his lips and spit cover your nose, mustache and chin. He'll even lick your ear canal.
No names ... Sofiane.
2. Sterilized Tongue
Breath fresheners smell good and leave bad aftertaste.
This kisser means well, but I refuse to kiss Vicodin. I was vacuuming a guy's tonsils when my taste buds clammed up. "Had onions today?" I asked.
"No! I sucked on mint strips all day for you!" He enthused.
1. The Kissophobe
He is the world's absolute finest kisser! And he hates it!
His lips make you swoon. And, suddenly, he stops to say the unfathomable. "I can't! Kissing grosses me out ... but it's not you, all right?" He was a Virgo.
Despite kissing a few frogs, I admit having kissed more princes.
My personal record? 7 hours non-stop.