Hairy Arab Man First Armpit Shave

Manscaping. Such a hassle for a hairy man.

Unless he is chaetophobic, dating a beautician, or must be smooth at work, a guy shaving daily is a mystery.

And we're only talking scruff.

Arab men do trim/shave the "Bermuda Triangle" i.e. armpits and pubis, especially if married.

But, chest/back/sack waxing? Ouch!

I, for one, seldom invite razors to smooth over my tennis court of a face.

My beard has grown on me over the years. Literally. Being single is one more reason not to mow the lawn.

But, two days ago, shaving my armpits became a plan!

Background story: water pipes are being fixed in my neighborhood. That means no access to tap water for two weeks in such scorching heat. Having found no alcohol-free deodorant, shaving seemed the thing to do.

I chanced upon a hair removal cream tube of my mother's.

There was no spatula or expiry date on, but I suspected the thing to be 3+ years old. The cream looked like toothpaste and smelled like gutter water.

I proceeded to slather the cream all over my armpits. The burn!

I, then, sat arms arched like an eagle's wings, resisting the urge to rub my slightly burning eyes for fear of losing my eyelashes.

Ten minutes later, smarty pants thought mere water splashes would make the uprooted armpit hair slide down the drain.

Big mistake!

Unable to lay my hands on a spatula, I flipped the toothpaste tube, but it was too limp for the job. Next was a broken comb. A Missouri fridge magnet.

To no avail.

Having chemicals on longer than recommended made me panic. When I panic, common sense exits. So, I frantically scrapped with anything I found.

Result?

My armpits look like a cat sharpened its claws on them.

And that smell! Nobody told me I was to smell like the sewers for the next 48 hours! And I can't even spray deodorant or use soap?

Women, how in the world d'ya do it?

96 comments:

  1. I can just picture you running around the house trying to find something -

    Next time put the cream on - wait the appropriate amount of time and then get a washcloth take it in the shower with you and wash, the hair will come right off - MEN!!

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  2. P.S. Don't EVER - EVER use that stuff to manscape "down there"!

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  3. @ Sheila: Ran like a chicken with its head cut off, indeed! Especially that I didn't want mom to know about my smelly deed. :p Not sure there's ever going to be a next time, but I'll remember that. Thanks for the advice, Sheila! :-)

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  4. My Sweetie is quite a hairy dude: his facial hair grows like crazy, he's got a full chest mane, and his back is a forest of fur...but I love him just how he is! :-) He only shaves his face when it gets super-itchy after growing out for 3 or 4 days, and it works out fine anyway since he works from home.

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  5. Hahaha.... I am so sorry... but I have to laugh... GAG, why on earth would you put your poor little pits through such a work out!

    You would have been better off just using soap and making a good lather, taking a razor and removing the hair. Be prepared, buy a disposable razor first! I suppose I shouldn't say too much, since I don't have any body hair to cut off!!!

    Well, I hope you will not attempt this little project again any time soon! Let your pits grow like the children of the earth that they are!

    -Tony.

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  6. Hahaha too funny ! awww hunny ! were you using shaving cream or hair removing cream .. cos it sounds like hair removing cream :P

    I like a man with a stubbly on his face .. its a turn on for me :) however the Bermuda triangle must be clean or trimmed at the very least ... back hair .. don't get me started on that .. instant TURN OFF !!! *think Indian movie and girl screaming 'naaaaaaaaaaaaaheeeeeeeeeeeee' hahahha

    You should get the multi-hair trimmer that you can use on the face, body & pubes and on your head hair as well .. they are sooo effective. I got one for my bro and used it to shave his chest for the time and now he's grateful for that damn lil' machine !

    Hope all is well otherwise on your end :)

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  7. silly, silly boy!!
    being myself of the furry persuasion...i attempted as a teenager the hair removal thing, on my legs, my balls, my butt, belly and chest. my balls still shrink at the memory of it, decades later. trimming is much better.
    what was the big idea anyway?
    just let the hair be!!
    :D~
    HUGZ

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  8. @ Rae: Kudos to your hubby for owning his hairiness and thumbs up to you for liking him the way he is. :-) I tell you, some gay guys just skip you for having a few hairs peeking out of your shirt. At the same time, some other gay guys have made a fetish out of that. I'm all for balance and middle grounds. ;-)

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  9. @ Tony: Laugh on, my Tony ... laugh on, as the situation is pretty LOL-worthy, indeed. ;-) I refuse to use razors for fear of having thicker hair grow after, especially when it's the first time I ever do it. I'm not sure I'll ever do it again, though. I, like a cat, lose most of my body hair in the summer anyways. :-)

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  10. @ Dazediva: Hair removing cream, it was. Thanks for the correction! :-) When back hair is more dense than chest hair, "Houston, we have a problem," indeed. I'm lucky mine only covers a few inches below my neck and follows a certain pattern that it almost looks like a flying bird.

    Twitter, if you ever need a new logo? :D

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  11. @ Ticklebear: Hair removal cream on the bunnies? Ouch! I was an early bloomer but did leave some of the blooming for way later - shaving armpits was one. :-)

    The big idea is simple:

    1. I am broke. So, buying new razors every week, deodorant every 2 weeks, and going to the hairdresser's every month would inflict me with more debts. I even cut my hair on my own, at home, about a month ago. :p

    2. Because of some underground pipeline work in my hometown, all my neighborhood did not have tap water for the past 3 weeks. With the heat and my working on some stuff on the building's rooftop, it's tough to remain fresh as a daisy.

    Makes sense? :-)

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  12. @ Ticklebear: Put the bottle down, pause the naughty video playing on the PC, and read again. :D

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  13. has nothing to do with it. i can multitask!!!
    ;)~
    leave the armpits alone!!
    that's all.
    :)~

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  14. @ Ticklebear: I can't promise I'll leave them alone now. Give me 3 more days of testing the advantages of having no hair in there, and then I'll report my decision to you. :-)

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  15. lol! i just can imagine how you look like while you were panicking!

    :) missing you here... HUGZx3!

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  16. @ i_wander: Oh hi, momma of the year! Have missed you, too. I was just having a grand ole time on your blog. :D

    The funny thing is that some hairs didn't fall off with the rest, so I kept plucking each one with my bare fingers. :p Thank Goodness I didn't take photos of the "after"!

    HuGGies!

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  17. BTW, I will send you a bottle of good (none-expired) hair removal creme that works well! I use to use it when I wanted a shinny bald head!

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  18. @ tony & wil:
    i wouldn't advise a hair removal cream on your scalp, if the idea ever cross your mind...
    a grid razor,
    a good exfollient,
    and a moisturizer,
    and your scalp will be as shining as an ice skating rink,
    with no sign of irritation.
    guaranteed!!
    :)~
    HUGZ

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  19. @ Tony: Aww, shucks! Does it come with a spatula? :-)

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  20. @ Ticklebear: This is how you shave your head? I have never considered shaving mine. Would my face-shaving experience be better if an exfoliant and a moisturizer were included in the process? :-)

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  21. of course it would, if you get the right shaver to begin with.

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  22. @ Ticklebear: One day, you should do me the favor of shaving my face, especially that you have all these products I don't have and seem to know the intricacies of shaving better than I do. The Robinson Crusoe look can only work for a while. :p

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  23. my arms can't reach that far, and my eyesight is not that good anymore. you'll have to come closer...
    to quote madonna:
    "i ain't gonna hurt you. just close your eyes!!"

    :D~
    HUGZ

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  24. @ Ticklebear: If we ever meet, that is. :-) Worry not about your eyesight; I've been known to walk around town with a few bald spots on my supposedly-trimmed facial scruff. ;-)

    To misquote Celine Dion and Clive Griffin in "When I Fall in Love" -- a song on the "Sleepless in Seattle" soundtrack: "When I give up, I give up completely." :D

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  25. Wilmy.....really?????:P I gather the understanding of why you did it through the circus of words with Ticklebear...LOL :) but the hair that we have been blessed with is just that...HAIR. You can do what you like with it but it will always grow back. I used a hair removal cream on my back and shoulders for years and finally gave in and accepted that it was meant to be there and if someone didn't like it then they can just look the other way...lol Besides...to me a hairy man is a sexy man ;) Smooth guys are like sliding up and down on a rubber wet suit :D A WHOLE OTHER TOPIC...LOL

    HH

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  26. @ Angelo: My first-ever armpit shaving experiment yielded cool results. No more underarm washing twice a day. Having no water for 3 weeks in such premature heat prompts you to become resourceful and limit water use. While I may repeat the experiment, I certainly do not consider shaving my chest hair. I've, finally, grown fond of it.

    Oh, Angelo, you're such a hirsute racist! Hating on hairless men ... for somebody who can't even find his eyelashes anymore. LOL Wait until I Skype with you tomorrow and you'll get a big "patch" of my mind. :p Hugs

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  27. Wilmy~~

    I have nothing against smooth guys...lord knows enough other guys like them.... BUT, I just happen to prefer men with hair and lots of it :P So this makes ME a racist? :D

    HH~
    ANGELO

    P.S. I forgot I work on Wednesday now...we went to 6 days at work this week...can you skype Thursday instead?

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  28. @ Angelo: I take that back. You're not a hirsute racist. Let's just say you don't like to slip onto 'uncomplicated flesh'. :D I am sorry - danced my head out to the new Christina Aguilera song, so no brains are left.

    No worries. Thursday, it is. Anything for you, Angelo :)

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  29. @ Rae: A rock that disintegrates into slippery pebbles when wet! Not safe :D

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  30. I think I officially tiptoed into the world of exhibitionism with this photo. Speak of shameful and shameless at the same time! :p

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  31. i knew there was perv somewhere in there...
    ;)~

    HUGZ

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  32. LOL now I know how NOT to dehair my pits. I do hope the pain has left. Although I am still laughing hard at the first comment by Sheila. I can just see her standing there, saying or should I say stating: MEN!!

    By the way, I have a page sponsored by Gillette on my blog and they have great videos on just how to do the above maintenance without pain. But then again, this made for a great post.

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  33. @ Ticklebear: More of a fallen devil, but yeah ... ;-)

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  34. @ ManOverBoard: Hair removal creams are practical - just have a spatula around. :-) The pain has left and so has the gutter smell. Things are growing back, so I am weighing in on whether or not I should pull an "oops ... I did it again!"

    Sheila is right. Men are a less handy when it comes to these things. If my narrative were an unedited video, you'd feel the two P's (pity & pee) at my powerlessness. :D

    Thank you for stopping by, Glenn. I'll visit you soon! :-)

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  35. I am amazed by the amount of tips and tricks being exchanged on this. ^_^ I had one experience w/ hair removal cream, sadly, I did not read the ingredient list before applying and the one thing I am SEVERELY allergic to was in it. I spent the next week with burn/rash marks down my legs. Would not have been so bad if a) I did not have to wear jeans for work and b) it was high summer and around 80+ degrees and humid as hell. Sweat + Allergic Reaction = EXTREME DISCOMFORT. I'll stick to my razors. Heck, even got my new beau doing some trim work just because I made a comment about his fuzziness.

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  36. @ Andrea: Can't blame these generous folks for advising a body hair removal novice, can we? :) I can only imagine how delicate a situation it was for you to have denim brush against skin rash in sweaty summer!

    I've had a rather similar predicament on the beach, one summer, where my thighs got sunburned really bad but had to quickly slip into my jeans, by the end of the day, to have all the sand covering my wet feet creep all the way up to my inner thighs. I stayed home for a week, baby powder all over me and a fan facing my Southern 'homo-sphere.' ;-)

    Your beau is a hirsute? Coolies! :p Good to see you back on here. :)

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  37. Now, I have a question: how long should I wait before resorting to hair removal cream to shave my armpits in case I want to do it again?

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  38. i'd say count 2 weeks after your skin is totally healed, and about half an inch regrowth...
    trim instead!!!
    :D~
    HUGZ

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  39. @ Ticklebear: I see. Thanks my Ticklebear, but I don't have a trimmer. I can't go to the hairstylist's, take off my shirt, put my hands up in the air, and ask for an armpit trim, can I? That'd be fun, though :D

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  40. @ Andrea: I always used scissors for that. This time, I just want to go deodorant-free. I am experimenting. :)

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  41. not new to u.just subscibed to share with u .am ur fellow-countryman"Anonymous".
    I'm a hirsute,very!.I use a professional electric clipper ,then I apply a slight layer of cod liver oil ointment(not a pleasant smell but I add a bit of a man fragrance),I can go odorless for even a week.That's my tip.I quitted using deodorants for I know they are carcinogenic.

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  42. @ ChagrinD'amour: Howdy. Isn't Cod liver ointment for healing burns? And doesn't covering pores with cream increase perspiration? But hey, if it eliminates body odor, it must be good. I'm thinking of going back to how our grandmothers did it: applying jasmine powder. I quit using deo cos I'm broke. ;-)

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  43. it does also eliminate the bad smell.It's closes the pores,that's why u don't smell!but after a good shower u get it out,I go to the hammam to ensure a thorough cleansing.

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  44. Hey,u'r intriguing me!How come u'r broke.With such a good English,u can teach,work in the south.I feel u'r all huddled up,do u never go out?Here's an idea,run away!Go abroad.Ask ur blog pals to help u out,u'll b more than welcome in "MAN-lands" out there.

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  45. @ ChagrinD'amour: I see. I've only been to the hammam once, as a kid. Never since then. I'm quite prudish and can't stand the vapory heat.

    As for working in the south, you are aware that anything wearing a skirt and/or well-connected folks are the ones who get the job. I've always counted on and wanted to be hired for my skills, not the influential people I know.

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  46. Oh, what a scene that must be. Sorry, for laughing at your mishap, but you wrote it so funny.

    I've never heard of men shaving their armpits. I know that male models and body building competitors shave, but they also shave everything and not just the armpits.

    I found the video very funny too.

    Tasha

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  47. @ Tasha: You can laugh as the scene was funny and the post meant to provoke laughter, if not some head shaking, too. :p I have had to shave mainly for 3-week tap water shortage due to underground pipe work. This was the first time ever, so it was worth telling my lovely readers about it. :)

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  48. As my mother would say.... "serves you right". But no need to run around the house looking for scrapers of all descriptions and sizes... some toilet paper and vigorous rubbing would have done the trick... yes talking from personal experience when the spatula decides it wants to go on holiday before I do!!!!!

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  49. @ Kyivite: Noting to self here. Thank you for the tip! :)

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  50. Ouch... if you're anything like me the hair will come back in three-four days so it just doesn't sound worth it :P

    Btw did you know that if you leave out the "B" in "Blogspot" when typing your url, you get to this site;

    "BIBLE STUDY.US—MEGA-SITE of Bible, church, Christian & religious info, & studies.

    If YOU have ANY concern about your future on earth + eternity, it is critical you read this page."


    I don't think the Christians like you! :D

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  51. christians don't like anybody but themselves...
    this coming from someone who they tried to make a good christian of...
    does this make me a bad christian, or a none christian???
    :D~

    HUGZ

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  52. But it important to note that the cream should preferably not be out of date :)... otherwise it has the potential to melt adamantium ;)))))

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  53. @ apples: I am like you, i.e. my hair grows back fast. But since this was the first time, it actually took time. I'll just buy deodorant. :)

    Oh my! I was lead to that website, indeed. Hmmm ... I think Christians would like me as I lead the life of a monk (in couture clothing hah!).

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  54. @ Ticklebear: Did you go to Catholic school? I didn't have to; Sister Maman made sure she'd make the strictness of nuns pale into comparison. ;)

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  55. @ Kyivite: It'd be interesting to see me turn into an X-Man ;)

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  56. Well make sure you have a special power....... :))))) ahhh maybe you can fight people by growing your hair really quickly and suffocating them......hahahahahaahh

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  57. @ Kyivite: I have always wanted a hybrid between Cyclops and Mystique's super powers. :) Using my hair as a weapon?

    Hummm ... *note to self* LOL

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  58. Uhm Wilmaryad...

    Hi Buddy! I was just editing the look of my blog and realized you wrote to me again way back and I never responded. I'm sorry! I just totally missed it. I will respond soon.

    Anyway, you are a very funny man. I love this post and anxiously await your next! Good luck on your semi-bald adventures :-P. May I suggest waxing? It hurts, but it works!

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  59. Will respond late tonight or tomorrow. Was just informed I have a little over an hour to get ready for a wedding. Who gets married at 11am, really?

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  60. @ Ticklebear: Body hair turned out to be a real weapon. Who would have thought? I'll write something about why I started thinking so. Stay tuned ;)

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  61. @ Story: Hi Lisa! I owe you an apology for having been too consumed by my daily fun adventures to sprinkle your blog with comments. But I like the new subdued design. :)

    My next post has been ready since March 25th, and my underarm hair has grown back, but I have been so busy meeting new people online that making sure the post makes sense took longer than expected. It should be here by the next time you visit this blog again. ;)

    A wedding at 11 AM? That's what happens here. We all got to have the wedding's big lunch. But have fun and go crazy on the cake!

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  62. sorry!
    i missed one of your [many] replies:
    i went to catholic schools, elementary and high school...
    and as a child, i went to catholic church, and as a teen, to baptist church...
    for all the good it did me!!!!
    :D~

    now i'm intrigues about your last comment...
    hair as a weapon???
    :)~
    HUGZ

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  63. @ Ticklebear: Even Mylene Farmer went to Catholic schools. Look at both of you now; not too shabby. ;)

    As for hair, weapon of mass forestation?

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  64. mylene...
    good reference!!!!
    :D~

    as for your hair problem...
    stop beating around the "bush"!!
    write that post already!!
    damn teaser...
    HUGZ

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  65. @ Ticklebear:

    Ce n'est pas à moi que mes poils posent problème. ;)

    In time, my Ticklebear. In time. I kind of have some sequencing in mind.You'll be the first to read it, anyways.

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  66. No worries about not commenting more on my blog! It looks like I stopped the communication anyway.

    So most weddings where you are occur during the day?

    I was good and left the cake alone, but I did splurge on beer. :-P

    Off to read your newest post.

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  67. @ Story: We need to get back in touch and support one another through our respective blogs, whenever we have the time and feel like it. :)

    Wedding in my country, officially, last 3 days and nights, at both the groom and the bride's respective parental houses. So, music is blaring and traditional wedding cuisine is served all day. The bigger wedding ceremony takes place the afternoon the bride is brought to her husband's parents' house, but some couples prefer to skip that step and go directly somewhere else on their honeymoon.

    I am glad you had a good time, babe! :)

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  68. Oh my gosh, weddings in your country sound fabulous!! I love weddings - from the ceremony to the reception. After hearing about how things are done where you are, it seems that our celebration is far too short!

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  69. @ Story: Come for a visit in the summertime and you'll see how crazy weddings here are. :) If you see the number of expensive hand-made gowns the bride wears on her wedding night, your jaws would drop. Needless to say the jewelry she has on makes for half of her weight on that "fateful" night. LOL

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  70. Reminds me of an indian wedding I went to. Boy was it neat! The groom rode up to the hotel on a horse while music played. She wore a super heavy, completely beaded gown - I can't remember if that was for the vows or the party. I think she had 2-3 dresses for the celebration/ceremony. It was really neat.

    I'm planning a wedding :-). I'm not engaged Wil as Mikey has not found a ring yet, but we are booking stuff because the ring search is taking so long that we're afraid we will miss out on some of our options. So I am not engaged, but am definitely having a wedding! I would LOVE to steal from your culture and have several days of parties. What else do you guys do to celebrate marriage?

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  71. @ Story:

    Congratulations! Who needs engagement when the ultimate union of the souls is in order? Really happy for you and Mikey! :)

    My culture puts too much emphasis on preserving tradition, from the costly gold-thread-ornamented velvet dresses, to the myriad of unwearable jewelry (chandeliers, more like it), to the tons of wool (to make hand-made mattresses), to the home-made pastry and cakes, to the copious banquet, to the honey moon reservation in Europe, and even the bride's virginity on her wedding night.

    Marriage in my culture has become a deal struck by the two families, with the would-be couple appointed as victims. She wants him filthy rich (just like the female cousin and the neighbor's daughter); he wants her hot, trendy and obedient (preferably if she can cook).

    Trust me, avoid the lavishness of modern weddings. Wearing Mikey's heart around your finger, as a wedding band, is all you both need to be happy. :)

    I wish both of you all the happiness in the world! XOXO

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  72. Hey there,
    Amazing topic. :D
    I still fear the hair removal creams... They scare the hell outta me; I wax my armpit instead.. it gives an indescribable feeling; after two days D:

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  73. @ Joe: Howdy,
    I asked mom today about waxing armpits and she said it hurts like hell, especially if it's the first time. I realized hair grows thicker with hair removal creams (my case anyway).

    I guess it's back to trimming with scissors. :)

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  74. @ Miss Casanova: That is my armpit before the shaving, indeed.

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  75. SLURP!!!!!!!!!!!!
    you know who this is from........

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  76. awh!!
    get over it!!
    it's a virtual one!!
    and i'm thousands of miles away...
    am i?!?
    ;)~
    HUGZ

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  77. @ Ticklebear: Unacceptable, unacceptable, unacceptable! :p

    Now, if you didn't recognize the reference to "sakoority", watch this video :D

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M

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  78. no need for security...
    i can find my way out on my own.
    :)~
    HUGZ

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  79. What a sexy post! Oy, get your memoirs ready--cause this my friend, is a book in the making! Just leave the pits alone--maybe of us like to get in there and just have fun!

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  80. @ Nando: Hair removal a book in the making? C'mon, Nando. :p Have fun in my armpits? Only for two whipped cheesecake boxes from Walmart!

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  81. You are funny! hehehehe facial hairs are cool by the way!! I dont have any though lucky me!! But i support the shaving of the bermuda triagle!! hahahaha

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  82. @ dylzie: I used to be self-conscious about my body and facial hair. I quite enjoy both now, actually. But, yes, just like everything often disappears in the Bermuda Triangle, hair around that area should be scarce, indeed. :)

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  83. NO! Don't shave, ever. Hair is good! ;-)

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  84. You kike it? Oh my G-d, my Jewish readers are gonna be offended. ;-)

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  85. I'll never do it again. Promise. Unless I get married or something ... :p

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  86. Totally support shaving / waxing / manscaping the Bermuda Triangle !!
    Hair is cool on a guy - facial hair - that is .. but back hair is a no in my eyes .. but that's personal ..
    I hope the next time you decide to manscape - you get a razor or use the hair trimmer on a setting of 1 .. and if you think you can bear it - a trip to the parlour for a quick underarm wax will leave you baby soft, and minus the smell of gutter water :P

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  87. As soon as I befriend a beautician, I'll send him your way. ;)

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  88. What bothers you about back hair, my diva? :)

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  89. i kike it . my hobbies is kissing the armpit. call me haris at 081220283922. l'm waitting

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  90. Peyoukeenpny196821Jan 16, 2012, 2:56:00 PM

    hi im youkee im looking for gay men to shave my hairy boday & i well pay anyone if you now thanks

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