Hairy Arab Man First Armpit Shave

Manscaping. Such a hassle for a hairy man.

Unless he is chaetophobic, dating a beautician, or must be smooth at work, a guy shaving daily is a mystery.

And we're only talking scruff.

Arab men do trim/shave the "Bermuda Triangle" i.e. armpits and pubis, especially if married.

But, chest/back/sack waxing? Ouch!

I, for one, seldom invite razors to smooth over my tennis court of a face.

My beard has grown on me over the years. Literally. Being single is one more reason not to mow the lawn.

But, two days ago, shaving my armpits became a plan!

Background story: water pipes are being fixed in my neighborhood. That means no access to tap water for two weeks in such scorching heat. Having found no alcohol-free deodorant, shaving seemed the thing to do.

I chanced upon a hair removal cream tube of my mother's.

There was no spatula or expiry date on, but I suspected the thing to be 3+ years old. The cream looked like toothpaste and smelled like gutter water.

I proceeded to slather the cream all over my armpits. The burn!

I, then, sat arms arched like an eagle's wings, resisting the urge to rub my slightly burning eyes for fear of losing my eyelashes.

Ten minutes later, smarty pants thought mere water splashes would make the uprooted armpit hair slide down the drain.

Big mistake!

Unable to lay my hands on a spatula, I flipped the toothpaste tube, but it was too limp for the job. Next was a broken comb. A Missouri fridge magnet.

To no avail.

Having chemicals on longer than recommended made me panic. When I panic, common sense exits. So, I frantically scrapped with anything I found.

Result?

My armpits look like a cat sharpened its claws on them.

And that smell! Nobody told me I was to smell like the sewers for the next 48 hours! And I can't even spray deodorant or use soap?

Women, how in the world d'ya do it?