He's insensitive, shallow and fucking charming!
A horny Don
He makes you wanna chew bricks when he chews your Gouda nether ... lands!
His aloof girth cocks you, slathers nectar all over your curves and never calls.
In other words ...
He's a certified, state-licensed, practicing dick.
You know he's bad for you. You must stop his misuse. You promise to move on.
Yet, he has a gift. A gift so lethal to your oral fixation. A gift he gets away with everything thanks to. Of his gift he's aware - never reluctant to share.
His dick — His mushroom and eggs burrito — His Third Reich Leg — His one-eyed monster — His milkshake fountain — Your damnation!
You may blush reading this. But let's face it: who doesn't like dick?
For dick-loving Ballsackians and Ovarians, dick's better than cookies-n-ice cream. It's a science we study hard. An emotion we crave feeling within.
Dick is the pop sickle that cools you off on Arabian summer noons. The hot chocolate marshmallow cup that warms you up on Alaskan winter nights.
It's the chew toy that soothes when you're teething. Aww!
No dentist will rebuke you for indulging in dick, as dick is the only cavity-fighting candy stick. And thanks to pubic hair, you get free dental floss.
Say Ahh. Wow, what healthy gums!
No cardiologist will ask you to go slow on heart-invigorating dick, either.
But expect doc to warn about cholesterol if you fancy uncut dick. That fat roll of a foreskin is a cheesecake factory in itself! Lemonade after is good.
Dick virtues aside, ...
Is it virtuous to love a dick's virtue source?
Beautiful genitalia appreciation is said to result from a shaky upbringing. Maybe?!? But I'm also endowed with an eye for design and archi-texture.
Sometimes, a marvelous penis is attached to the worst jerk. And I confess: I did fall for a douche because of the breathtaking equipment he 'came' with.
It's wrong to fall for only one part of someone. An anatomy part at that. But because one cannot come without the other, you put up with a lot of nonsense for that treasure's sake. You get obsessive-possessive. O misery!
Now, why don't dicks take cues from their dicks and win us over?
Dicks, I'll formally address you in the hopes of getting you to imitate the qualities of the 6-7-8-carat pendant hanging from the meeting of your thighs.
So, lend me your
Be happy to see us like your wobblehead.
Regularly check on us like your cuckoo clock.
We'll even tolerate your seasickness aftermath, O thick seamen.
Why call a jerk a dick when dick is delish?
Jerks with gorgeous dicks, you're nothing without your tools!
While we'll succumb to tasting your one-eyed monster, both monster and succumbing will grow old. And our oral fixation will shift to finger fixation.
Ever heard of Bling Bang theory?
Ask a jeweler.
Now, who would want to marry a dick besides a pussy?
Song: Inertia Creeps. By: Massive Attack.