In other words ...
He's a certified, state-licensed, practicing dick.
Yet, he has a gift.
A gift lethal to your oral fixation.
A gift he uses to get away with everything in life.
Of his gift he's aware and never ever reluctant to share.
His dick — His mushroom and eggs burrito — His Third Reich Leg — His one-eyed monster — His milkshake fountain — Your damnation!
You may blush reading this. But admit it: who doesn't like dick?
For dick-loving Ballsackians and Ovarians, dick's better than cookies and ice cream. It's a science we study hard. An emotion we crave feeling within.
Dick's the pop sickle that cools you off in African summers. The hot chocolate and marshmallow cup that warms you up in Antarctican winters.
It's the chew toy that soothes when you're teething. Aww!
No dentist will rebuke you for indulging in dick, as dick is the only cavity-fighting candy stick. And thanks to pubic hair, you get free dental floss.
Say Ahh. Wow, what healthy gums!
No cardiologist will ask you go slow on heart-invigorating dick, either. But doc will warn about cholesterol if you fancy uncut *cheese factory* dick!
Dick virtues aside, ...
Is it virtuous to love a dick's source of virtue?
Sometimes, a marvelous penis is attached to the worst jerk. And I confess: I did fall for a douche because of the breathtaking equipment he 'came' with.
Because one cannot come without the other, you put up with a lot of nonsense for that treasure's sake. You get obsessive-possessive. O misery!
Now, why don't dicks take cues from their dicks and woo us?
Dicks, I'll address you formally here. So, lend me your
Imitate the qualities of the 6-7-8-carat on your thighs' meeting.
- Be happy to see us like your wobblehead.
- Regularly check on us like your cuckoo clock.
- We'll even tolerate your seasickness aftermath, O thick seamen.
Why call a jerk a dick when dick is deliciousness?
Jerks with gorgeous dicks, you're nothing without your tools!
While we'll succumb to tasting your one-eyed monster, both monster and succumbing will grow old. And our oral fixation will shift to finger fixation.
Ever heard of Bling Bang theory?
Ask a jeweler.
Now, who would want to marry a dick besides a pussy?
Song: Inertia Creeps. By: Massive Attack.