Love a Dick for His Dick?

He's a douche. A horny jerk. An insensitive asshole!

In other words ...

He's a certified, state-licensed, practicing dick.

Yet, he has a gift.

A gift lethal to your oral fixation.

A gift he uses to get away with everything in life.

Of his gift he's aware and never ever reluctant to share.

His dick — His mushroom and eggs burrito — His Third Reich Leg — His one-eyed monster — His milkshake fountain — Your damnation!

You may blush reading this. But admit it: who doesn't like dick?

For dick-loving Ballsackians and Ovarians, dick's better than cookies and ice cream. It's a science we study hard. An emotion we crave feeling within.

Dick's the pop sickle that cools you off in African summers. The hot chocolate and marshmallow cup that warms you up in Antarctican winters.

It's the chew toy that soothes when you're teething. Aww!

No dentist will rebuke you for indulging in dick, as dick is the only cavity-fighting candy stick. And thanks to pubic hair, you get free dental floss.

Say Ahh. Wow, what healthy gums!

No cardiologist will ask you go slow on heart-invigorating dick, either. But doc will warn about cholesterol if you fancy uncut *cheese factory* dick!

Dick virtues aside, ...

Is it virtuous to love a dick's source of virtue?

Sometimes, a marvelous penis is attached to the worst jerk. And I confess: I did fall for a douche because of the breathtaking equipment he 'came' with.

Because one cannot come without the other, you put up with a lot of nonsense for that treasure's sake. You get obsessive-possessive. O misery!

Now, why don't dicks take cues from their dicks and woo us?

Dicks, I'll address you formally here. So, lend me your jewels ears.

Imitate the qualities of the 6-7-8-carat on your thighs' meeting.

  • Be happy to see us like your wobblehead.

  • Regularly check on us like your cuckoo clock.

  • We'll even tolerate your seasickness aftermath, O thick seamen.

Why call a jerk a dick when dick is deliciousness?

Jerks with gorgeous dicks, you're nothing without your tools!

While we'll succumb to tasting your one-eyed monster, both monster and succumbing will grow old. And our oral fixation will shift to finger fixation.

Ever heard of Bling Bang theory?

Ask a jeweler.

Now, who would want to marry a dick besides a pussy?

Seriously.

Song: Inertia Creeps. By: Massive Attack.

About the author: Wilmaryad is a curator at a dick museum.
Share your phallus fascination in the comments.

94 comments:

  1. I said I'd open this blogging year with a bang and my nose isn't growing long. Happy New Year! ;-)

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  2. is this a new venue for you? gone is the poetic prose and now, raw words gracing these pages?...
    unexpected.
    i presume this is linked to a recent event....
    pray tell.
    while it didn't make me blush, it did remind me of a few, even perhaps more than just a few...
    as the saying goes:
    can't live with them, cannot live without them.
    :/~
    HUGZ

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  3. This is so figuratively hilarious, If might I add. Love your writing style. (Y).

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  4. As you so graciously put it, who doesn't like dick? (I know, there are a few who can do without it, like dykes, innate celibates, monks – oh, sorry, THAT was a joke...) Well, beat me, shoot me (no pun intended, of course), milk me: instead of an answer, lemme quote that famous Abba-song, 'I Do I Do I Do…' To be honest (and I'm not gonna write about this on my own blog but I want to share that confession on yours – talk about a long awaited world exclusive!), I've stayed with my ex-lover for 13 years in part because of his marvelous shlong! Twas my favourite toy, my master wand, my… words fail me. Beautifully shafted, thick and long and juicy, hard as concrete, cut (the first cut thingy I enjoyed), tasty… but the dick wearing the dick was just to nerdy a dick for me. And when the dick granted his dick to someone else (we commonly call that cheating), my dick-dick-addiction was healed with a blow (again, no pun intended). No, I enjoy life with a dick that's not attached to a dick but to an angel (an ex-monk, by the way; one should always try an ex-monk, they have much to catch up...) Hey, I loved your new year's topic! Mes meilleurs vœux, et que le dick sublime (pendant d'un ange aussi) te soit donné par le Destin...

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  5. Roflmao @ "Who wants to marry a dick besides a pussy"

    I so wanna fwd it to my friends but then they'd find out about me.....argh!!!

    Brilliant post to start 2011!!! Happy New Year, man! :)

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  6. First off HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hugs n Kisses from my, your blogami eternal! Yes, I am blushing :) It would seem that having a Dick is much of a burden upon itself?

    ps. Your last line sent my recovering pneumonia lungs into a fury of laughter that was so necessary I think that I am nearly phlegm free! Sounds gross, I know, but this is why I haven't been blogging for the last week or so.

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  7. My fascination with the phallus is as Celine Dion sang it.
    "Certain as the sun. Rising in the east. Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the beast." ;-)

    Is there anything more poetic, Ticklebear?

    I wouldn't expect an artsy guy like you to settle for non-artistic curves.

    Oh, you got me intrigued. Do tell!

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  8. Thanks, Michael. And welcome!
    Now, if only this content were less figurative and more literal.
    Ahem.

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  9. We don't want you outed. But something tells me your friends wouldn't mind admitting to themselves, in the privacy of their psyches, that dick-loving is a respectable passion, both to Ballsackians and Ovarians. :-)

    Noticed how straight men worship big dicks, too? The Pamela Anderson Comedy Central Roast is proof. All male comedians kept referring to how endowed her ex, Tommy Lee, was on that infamous sex tape.

    Thanks, man. And Happy New Year to you, too! :)

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  10. Happy New Year to you, my dear!
    Here's to good health, good money and good love for the years ahead. :)

    Aww, mission accomplished if this post de-phlegmed you! I know for a fact that the best antibiotic resides at the meeting of a man's thighs. Well, more what comes out of the fountain than the fountain itself. ;-)

    Do you think, like me, that it is healthy to talk about sex, even humorously if you're shy?

    Speedy recovery, princess. HUGS!

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  11. What a perfect picture for your subject matter! I don't know how you do it. Now if he would just lose the cigar . . .

    Best of luck, friends, finding a dick that is not a dick on both ends.

    And the gums comment . . . oh my goodness.

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  12. Ah, gluttonous ad-dick-t, you! ^_^

    Everybody loves dick, including lesbians (strap-on use), celibates (masturbation ain't sex) and monks (no underwear = friction against the robe). Ask a celibate, half-lesbian monk named Wilmaryad.

    So, you are living proof that some DO LOVE A DICK FOR HIS DICK! Do you think dicks are truly magnetic or is it their dicks that lure us into believing they are?

    Let's say I had a very precise name and dick in mind while writing this post. Poor guy.

    And the award for the first daring comment of 2011 goes to Dieter! :)

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  13. Andrew! Good to see you here, buddy. How have you been?

    If he lost the cigar, his dickatude would be incomplete. Anything phallic was to do. ;-)

    Hope you find your good guy, too. You deserve it.

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  14. IndependentQueenJan 5, 2011, 4:55:00 AM

    Oh my dick. Today I learn the real subject of dick today from this post, Wilmy! Happy new year dear . xoxo.

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  15. Oh my, all is I can say is I'm blushing and speechless. It doesn't take much to make me blush, but I am rarely speechless. Happy New Year. It's been way too long since I stopped by here, so thanks so much for stopping by today. My new years resolution is to visit my favorite blogger much more regularly:)

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  16. Happy New Year, Queen! Loved your New Year's even style.

    Didn't you say, a couple of years ago, that you thought Arab guys where you live were total dicks? And that you were disgusted how girls from your country were at their feet?

    That, my friend, is dickatude at its most virulent.

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  17. Happy New Year, Tina. Join the shy club. This post was an exception because words are benign. The images behind them are what make words seem indecent. Plus, I'm no native speaker of English, so I only repeat what I hear. ;-) Looks like we're going to visit one another quite often, this coming year. Yay! :-)

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  18. Funny how those who have shared this post on Facebook received warnings from the site.

    Glad I deleted my Facebook account!

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  19. It took me a second read to kick back and let the humor in this post drool, I mean, drip down my tickle bone. The innuendo-ed grossness was initially a bit of a shock for this Catholic-raised, guilt-bondaged, reluctant and recovering puritan!

    So, finding ways to talk, despite being shy (who would have guesed???), about that three-letter word that has had humanity around it's little (or big, pick whichever applies) finger (or should that be dick?) has resulted in a post of this complexion, huh?

    Well, my friend, to that I say: To each his and her own dick and dichess respectively (though, you could argue interchangeably as well)! Ya vol!

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  20. The humor went undetected by your state-of-the-art radar? TB, we need to talk. ;)

    Excuse me for having no other word choice but 'dick'. 'Loser' has been given a positive connotation by TV shows, like "The Biggest Loser." 'Trash' would demean a garbage collector's noble job. 'Asshole' is just too vital a body part to be used derogatorily. Maybe players so play with their toys that we associated toy to player.

    Now, a personal question: is it possible you don't like the beauty of male ... form?

    If so, this means the theory that wants people with shaky upbringing to like beautiful genitals holds true. That, in turn, would mean that unlike me, you've been raised well. ;)

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  21. Happy New Year ,may we all find love every day..I like your "Queer thiking and straight talking"...God! you brought this up:How many dicks are there in here!Strangley most of'em gays or gun-men( police and co who believe their gun is the expansion of their tool)...I remember this well endowed total dick who has only his pubic area authorized to be accessed ,the rest forbidden!cos he thinks he's a MAN enough,an exclusive Arab dickatitude you never fing elsewhere.But admit it it's them who live happily,we, barely could breath.

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  22. Oh, the twists and double twists of Freudian theories...or are they post-post Freudian???

    Actually, my sensibilities (sic) weren't reacting so much to the use of the word dick as they were to the focus/emphasis on the physical (mis) adventures in Dickdom (as I was to discover upon reflection). I guess I'm soooooooooo old-world/cutting edge that I (want to) believe that all things physical have a spiritual origin LOL (which as it happens, on a more serious note, I do!!!!!!!!!!!!)

    As for not liking the male form...are you referring to said instrument or the entire male form? I mean, old-world/cutting edge as I am, I tend to see the male form as a whole, you know? And when it's well looked after, clean and fresh and filled with tenderness and depth (oh, oh, just realized where your mind will go with this!), I do enjoy it enormously :)

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  23. Such poetry! You're right, why do we call mean guys dicks when dick is a good thing? Why not choose a more unpleasant body part, like armpit or ear hair? Let's start the movement.

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  24. Oh I wouldn't call him a dick, but a much closer orifice.

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  25. Look at it this way, a dick is a person who thinks with their dick instead of with other, more useful organs :)

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  26. I say we test it out in the wood-burning stove, just to verify that is really is a specimen of timeless beauty ;)

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  27. Laughter is always the best medicine! There is not enough of it in the world. It would seem that talking about sex is still such a taboo in many societies. I think that where there are no discussions about sex is much of the source for misconceptions and plague individual freedom and sexuality.

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  28. Oh, few people would turn down some smoked salmon. :D

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  29. Wilmaryadic logic opted to leave out the appellation 'asshole' as the latter is too vital a body part.

    Anything else? ;-)

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  30. You know, sometimes, a dick doesn't live up to the smarts of his dick. Now, THAT is a problem. :D

    Maybe any guy who can't reciprocate your affection purposefully plays the role of a dick so as to indirectly keep you at a distance and, ideally, make you lose romantic interest in him?

    Wait a minute! That'd mean a dick is an altruistic gentleman afraid to hurt your feelings?

    Aww *delusional grin*

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  31. How about talking about sex on blogs? Is it crossing the line?
    When I see some gay blogs, for example, mine looks like a cartoon. :D

    Glad to hear you're feeling better. Squeezy hugs!

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  32. When it comes to dickart, you sure ain't philistine. ;-)
    I'm all for a movement!
    Scratch 'armpit hair', though. Bears, a sub-community of the gay community, worships it.
    Waxy ear hair? Hmmm ... I smell potential. :D

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  33. Bonne et Heureuse Année à toi aussi! Merci :-)

    Superb point you've made there about cops. From experience during my "experimental" years, I found that 3 out of 10 cops don't discriminate what their "guns" bang-bang. My ex-best friend was in love with a serial fornicator of a cop. And poor little me was a cop magnet. You just inspired me to consider writing about it. ;-)

    He authorized access only to his pubis? What's there to love about that area, frankly?

    Yeah, I've got reason to believe good guys finish first ... at the slaughterhouse! :D

    Courage! Tu n'es pas seul.

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  34. Freud and his theories can rest now. There's a much more anally-retentive guy with too much time on his hands to ponder life's intricacies and come up with refreshing paradigms. He's writing you right now.

    Gosh, how I love feigning immodesty. :D

    Men are visual creatures, TB. If not, Pamela Anderson would have stayed in her native Canada and the balloon industry stalled. Gay men are even more visual (more artistically inclined). So, subjugation with anything beautiful is only a natural manifestation of a sharp aesthetic sense. A woman's vagina, for one, is one of the most awe-inspiring and beautiful creations on Earth! :-)

    As for spirituality preceding physicality, that's more than a given in Wilmaryad's book. Otherwise, why would he be single for this long, refusing to go man-tasting, and talking about himself in the third person?!? But like a woman, talking about what I don't do (sex, for example) calms down my impulse. Go figure.

    You enjoy the clean, fresh, tender and deep male form ... enormously, huh? Very old school, indeed. :D

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  35. a boneless filet, pret à manger! But nah, I've never liked salmon all that much :D

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  36. Ive met men like that, works good being older as you can see them coming and not get to entangled with them. I was once with a man like that and yes he was good but then i have had better men since then,maybe they dont have a big dick but at least they arent a dick

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  37. I told you before my first big crush was a cop ,who by the way still harrasses me much more for fun!Please do write about your experiences,quick question though: Do you think he'd be a pedophile if I told you I saw him with a bunch of kids whom I tought they'd be his kids? cuz my stupid heart still have that glimmer of hope inspite of all I went through...

    I meant the perimeter of that area which includes his engine and the pending sacks,Manly!

    Merci pour tes heartfelt mots. Wish you the same.

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  38. Maybe one day, you'll like salmon thanks to a Salman? :D (Salman: Arabic male name).

    Puns aside, have you ever encountered a dick? If so, how was it?

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  39. Now it all makes sense!

    By harassing you for fun, do you mean he harasses you just to have a vicious laugh at your expense? or to have a one-night-stand with you?

    There are 3 explanations for an adult hanging out with kids all the time. (1) He didn't fully live his own childhood and tries to make up for that by being in contact with the kids. (2) He acts as their mentor. Such adults are quite paternal and like the freshness of youth, and will gladly volunteer to advise and guide them. (3) He is a pedophile.

    So, you're still in love and he isn't? :(

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  40. Don't you think dicks are like car dealers? They make an offer they know is irresistible, then nonchalantly shrug our hesitation off with a tempting "well, this is out last discounted piece. We close in 5 minutes ..." :p

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  41. Yah they do like its such a special thing to have their dick....I laugh at people like that

    They THINK they have a big dick, but with noone wanting to use it, it would soon seem small, but then that would probably turn them more into a dick

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  42. And you think we're always immune to caving in?

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  43. I seen you got yourself in a bit of trouble on Facebook? Wtf? This is an awesome post! I guess not many can understand the humor in your post. What you are saying is not crossing the line. Nothing you do is taboo in my eyes. I have not been on the other blogs, I am partial to yours.

    Superhugs :D

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  44. I could pass an Adonis or an Apollon but a boyish man(like my son of a gun) is WEAKNESS for me,I'm right away in love even he'd be straight,if by mistake he exchanges glances with me,I'd think he "may be",Many times I compromised myself this way,naive me....his harrassment is consistant and consistant gazings whenever we cross ways,but then nothing happens,as if he's not needy.I don't think he seeks something,as a sadist would do,he likes to see if he still is my heartbreaker.Before, I always fell for that and many times I rushed to pass by him in his usual hanging out place,a café ,he did nothing in response ,yet when I take distance I see him getting closer and showing interest ,give that habit 3 years. I've never done that eversince his "bitrayal"later.

    I'm sure he knows I love him,not that much now though.I am not able to find out anything about him:his postion(Bi,T or B or something else,a procurer for instance !),whether he has multiple partners,etc....it's clear our worlds are parallel,by his looks,he must be a serial drinker,or may be a drug dealer,an angelic face ruined.woow you got worms out of my nose ,didn't you?

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  45. Okay, I'll bite - Define 'old school'. Hmph...

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  46. And while we're at it, pray tell, what be the basis for this (please exclude 2nd or 3rd hand references)?:

    "A woman's vagina, for one, is one of the most awe-inspiring and beautiful creations on Earth! :-)"

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  47. Apparently, my content isn't suitable for minors. Does Mark Zucherberg, founder of Facebook, lead THAT much of a reclusive life to ignore that high school kids use more off-color language than a detergent? If calling a cat a pussy is vulgar, then be it.

    Superhugs back, princess :D

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  48. You've got yourself the typical tease. He'll be dirty flirty from afar, then feign innocence once approached. It's not harassment; it's attention seeking he's guilty of.

    Common sense should prompt you to act indifferent towards him, since that's what makes him notice you. And keep it at it, until he decides to make a move or accepts to talk to you.

    Now, let me ask this: were you two boyfriends of some sort before? or is this unrequited love from a distance on your part?

    As for alcoholism and drug use, I say try to dissuade him. If everything fails, wish him the best and move on.

    P.S. When you say 'boyish', do you mean physically or personality wise?

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  49. Old school as in old fashioned, TB. :-)

    A woman's V section is just another beautiful part of the female body. Its design. Its hierarchical architecture. Its separation of power chambers. Its noble function. And it is every straight man's obsession! Not that many straight men can be dumb, can they?

    No, I have not been there. But, unlike quite a few gay guys, I don't find it disgusting. Big difference. :-)

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  50. It's harrassement because those glances turn into endless nightmare and pain for me ;a euphoria for him.

    Believe me ,he won't do any move.(he drove me crazy with his mutism ,sometimes I say I'm dealing with a psycho). That's what I learnt from him during these ten years.I tried your"commun sense reaction"and when I get him close,he goes away,it's like ebb and flow, he's a maniac,he likes this game,and I'm sick of it.

    I only talked to the man once in my life,the one time I tried to come out to him and he cool-bloodily "burnt"me and divulged my deep deep secret.I'll never do that 'error' again.

    Of course I mean physically.Did I tell you he's married and have kids.Do you believe in bisexuality.Can one shif to straight after they are married?

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  51. "A dick is free dental floss." It's official, you're my hero. Love you're irreverence.

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  52. Yeah, mine. It's awesome ;)

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  53. He outed you? Oh my God! Sorry to hear that.

    Married, with kids, and still a tease? Run away for cover. This guy is a walking heartbreak station.

    Bisexuality exists. But sleeping with guys, then claiming heterosexuality once home is nonsense.

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  54. I dig your blog. You should resume posting on there.

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  55. 'a walking heartbreak station' very big talk,quite wise image.If only I found someone to share what has been eating me alive all my life with,I wouldn't make such irreparable mistakes. Thanks Will and damn homosexuality,I want someone straight to trade lives with .Do you know any?

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  56. When you see all those guys that used to hit on you, walking around town with their wives and newborns, looking at you with such sad eyes - as if wanting you to save them from the predicament in which they had put themselves to please society - you realize straight isn't necessarily easier than gay. Trying straight for a change from gay is worse, eventually.

    What's preventing you from finding the guy of your dreams? Is it fear of being uselessly outed? Or the gay dating dynamics in our culture are too twisted? Or is it both?

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  57. "When you see all those guys that used to hit on you, walking around town with their wives and newborns,"Well if there were any ,I would envy them for at least having kids,involving themselves in a life achievement(having/raising kids) ,I'd say to myself I want to be brave like them, yet I know it's impossible,I can't even imagine talking to a 'female',let alone sharing bed with her,yuck!...Let's admit a lot of experiences succeeded for the one reason that they don't divorce!So what the heck being gay,single,alone,facing pressure and frustration and dying like a dog!

    How many gays are out there?How many of them are my type?How many of the latter I am their type?See, restriction till I get none or one in a milion (it happened to be my son of a gun )I am a sub sub sub category in this community.That's why.

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  58. tastes better than salmon, that's for sure ;)

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  59. You do have a point there! LOL. I do have one such altruistic-seeming dick in my life, and Ticks could probably elaborate on that.... While it is fun to fantasize about such a possibility, the altruism is more likely than not just that--a fantasy. He's just a dick!

    But at least the dick respects you enough NOT to seduce you (when he could do so and succeed easily), to make you abandon your own values. Oops, I'm entering the wonderful world of Disney again. He's just a dick!

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  60. I understand you may think you'd envy them, but it isn't my case. The guy flaunts a wife and kids just to lure society into thinking he is straight. At the same time, he looks at you flirtatiously. Some even go as far as make you indecent proposals, then beg you not to divulge their indiscretions since they are now "respectable" husbands.

    I've had my share of those guys. So, I'm speaking from experience. There's nothing honest about lying to a woman while your heart beats for men.

    Don't take it personally but preferring to sleep with men doesn't make women "yucky".

    You've had ONE guy reject you and you, now, think you're undesirable? Sorry to say, but that makes you sound like a quitter. :) Plus, waiting on a vicious prick for 10 years is unwise. It could be understandable had we been teens, but beyond age 26, I think one shouldn't wait too long.

    If anything, your written communication is quite fun. How many could say this much, this eloquently, where you and I come from? ;)

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  61. Are you referring to a certain F.? ;)

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  62. You may not believe me but unlike you I had almost no experience till the age of 25,before that only teenage unilateral love. I wasn't of any man appealing magnetism,no one in the entire world would think I'd be homo, not because I was hiding.

    The prick is not the problem anymore. The bad luck is.I am not a quitter,I'm constantly searching love:in the street,at work,in passing people's eyes,in hammams too.That's why I hasn't been able to put a full stop.Whenever I put it, it turns to a coma(may be the ink is too much!).When I turned 30,I felt very down the curve,it's the second half of my life,it's the time when people achieve something ...people,not me.I know you understand loneliness and cold...I am not doing waiting,waiting is doing me.

    I have 7 sisters ,one died for cancer complications, and 12 nieces,I am a proud brother and uncle ,the 'yuck' part concerns onlt the sex part with a woman.

    Thanks.... who said:"being funny is a defense mechanism"?Chandler from Friends.

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  63. why, I do believe you're right! :)

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  64. I do believe you. Some of us are late bloomers, while others enter and retire from the game early.

    Oh, c'mon now, you can't blame luck. Remember that the culture of gay dating is nonexistent where we come from. Add to it the fear of being outed, 10+ years of war, and you get zero chance of developing something substantial.

    Maybe you're too insistent on finding love that it avoids finding you? Remember how everything we wanna ward off, eventually, lands on our doorsteps; and we seldom get something we relentlessly chase.

    From experience, the more you obsess about love, the more disappointed you are likely to be. Leave it up to your Maker to prepare a nifty surprise for you, put it in a cute box, wrap it with a bow, and send it to you when you least expect it. :) Belief does work magic!

    Humor, indeed, is part of our survival instinct. Without it, I would have suffocated a while ago. And you always are welcome to share your stories on here. I know I like reading your views, since you're currently my only link to my society. Sad, but true.

    So sorry to hear about your sis, may she rest in peace!

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  65. I did read about him. Yes, I did read your last post. Ever the procrastinator, I'll be attempting to pay your blog a visit today. :)

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  66. si tu aime les arabes gay viens sur citewesh.com . you love french arab gay site comes http://www.citewesh.com

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  67. Mon ami, vu que mes mails se perdent dans les méandres insoupçonnés entre Paris et l'Algérie, je me permets de t'écrire ici même si cela n'a rien à voir avec ton post, que j'ai déjà commenté avec gourmandise. Juste pour exprimer mon espoir que tu vas bien malgré les soubresauts qui semblent faire trembler toute la région en ce moment. Serait-ce l'annonciation des lendemains qui chantent? Je l'espère pour toi, pour vous tous. Je n'ai pas encore visité l'Algérie mais me suis toujours senti très proche de la Tunisie, où j'ai séjourné plusieurs fois. Je suis de tout cœur avec vous tous ; que vous réussissiez enfin à prendre par la détermination ce que vous méritez ! What a strange moment, I must say. Our friend TB endangered by rising muddy waters, you by a revolution! Courage, mon ami, hugs 'n' kisses...

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  68. Interesting! I think I'm all DICKED out. :)

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  69. such a smarty pants! I suppose its one of the many qualities that I've grown to love about you!

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  70. I'm still waiting for the part where the camel dies. Meanwhile, I'm getting a good laugh about dental floss and cheesecake factories.

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  71. You're likely to hear more of camel toes in this post than of camels. ^_~

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  72. I appreciate your heartening sentiment. But don't buy into this pseudo revolution. A revolution meant to look good on Facebook ain't one. Tunisia and Egypt can revolt because they're not as corrupt as other neighboring countries. When you bribe to steal from the necessitous and bribery is your source of extra revenue, both briber and bribed are waist-deep in corruption; therefore, briber and bribed can't revolt against one another. Do the math.

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  73. Nah, don't blame this post on your being dicked out. We all know better. ;)

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  74. Hello my friend, I send you a mail via the 'Contact' button in the left margin. But I've got some doubts that you ever receive these mails... So I'll have to leave yet another comment. I tagged you yesterday in my latest blog post for a 19-question survey. Hope you're willing to participate and looking forward to reading your answers over here soon. And I hope, above all, that your health problems have gone and the flu haunts someone else now (preferably someone you don't like lol). Hugs from Paris...

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  75. Lol....my dear sweet friend ...this was totally entertaining and oh so true in many ways.
    I personally am as they say.."strictly dickly"... after all...it is what nature intended to please me :)

    Huggzzzz~

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  76. Oh....love your choice of tunz...Love Massive Attack~

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  77. you're nominated!!
    :)~
    HUGZ

    http://www.ticklebear4u.com/2011/02/stylish-who-me-youre-kidding-right.html

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  78. Thank you, Dieter. All questions have been answered. :)

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  79. Thank you, girl. This blog needed some Dick waiving all over it. Stay as you are. Dick is good for you. :)

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  80. Love that tune, too. Speaking of attacks, where int he world have you been all this time? :)

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  81. Oh my my how I have been there. I once dated the worldest biggest jerk. He was AWFUL to me, but he was so very well endowed and he knew how to use it. Foolish girl I was.

    Love the site, you had me cracking up from the first line.

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  82. Aww. Let's talk when you feel like it. *Hug*

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  83. Welcome to the dick victims club. Maybe we shouldn't be hard on dicks. It must be hard to have two heads and always have both expected to be interesting. ;-) I wonder if a smart, well-endowed guy could be a dick?

    Oh, you had me from 'Cheesecake'! :D

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  84. OMG, Ticklebear. Thank you. This is unexpected ... like ... totally!
    Let me run and prepare an acceptance speech. :D

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  85. Well this is new... (the comment feature, not the theme) :)

    I'd say the way I feel about dicks is the way most guys feel about tits. So beautiful, such a turn on, you just can't help staring. I never understood guys' fascination with breasts before I thought of it like that...

    Btw - love the pic on top. Just subtle enough to be utterly delish ;)

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  86. Girls will always have bigger balls than guys, indeed. :)

    You wouldn't even wanna know where I got that pic from.

    Let me ask: have you encountered many dicks with delish dicks?

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  87. This is an absolutely fantastic post and I love the way you have put it together !!

    There are times one meets a real certified DICK - everything about him screams RUN RUN RUN - and then he drops his pants and out comes a piece of art; a schlong so perfect - it makes you think .. will the Dick know how to use it .. so you put up with a bit of rubbish and then he uses his tools on you and it makes you think OMG OMG OMG why are you such a DICK !!

    It's been a while since I have been here but you are forever in my heart and mind .. and this post had me hooked from the title itself :)

    Wonderful writing as always !

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  88. *High fives you* Damn right, girl.

    I join my voice to yours in urging dicks to embrace the qualities of their beautiful jewels.

    Dicks are, actually, nice guys. But their dicks twitch so much that they need frequent release. We, as usual, want commitment after the first date, ignoring that the guy with the beautiful dick can't help but expressing his affection and infatuation through his 8-inch wonder!

    Ah, epiphanies! ;)

    You and I go back to when this blog was a day old. It's always good to see you stop by!

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  89. And this, right here, is why I subscribed to your blog. Love it!

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  90. Ah, a dick-loving Ballsackian. Velkum! ;-)

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